Starting a New Life

Ray had notice a girl walk in and take a seat opposite of him, but the news he was reading, a Rottweiler’s fierce attack on a small boy, was too gripping for anything to disturb him. Anyway, he didn’t have a habit of ogling girls who sat opposite him in trains.

After five minutes, the song in his iPod ended. The sound of train hurtling forward filtered through the headphones. He finished reading the news also. He packed up the newspaper and looked up. The girl sitting in front him came to his view.

He stared at her for a moment. Ray didn’t remember how long it was. Not long he hoped, as the girl had noticed him stare and smiled. He had returned her smile. But this had rendered him nervous. And now, he needed to find courage to look up, see if she was interested in talking to him. It wasn’t easy, there were other passengers in the train. They would be curious, even laugh if his attempt failed.

But Ray wanted to try. He wanted to find out if the girl’s smile had been genuine. She was the prettiest site he’d seen for a long time. He didn’t know what made her so attractive. Maybe it was her hair. Ray had always liked girls with ginger hair. Maybe it was her large blue eyes. They were like lakes. Ray had felt he could dive inside them and lose himself forever. Or maybe it was her skin, so fair and smooth. He’d liked the way she’d dressed also. Her blue T-shirt showed enough of her cleavage. Not much, but enough to want Ray to see more. The top matched with the faded blue jeans and the blue chucks she was wearing. He’d even noticed a heart shaped, sapphire coloured ring in her right index finger. Ray seemed to agree with everything about her.

He had to initiate the conversation soon though. After ten minutes, the train was stopping at his station. He would have to get off. He could stay on, get off at her station also, but unless the girl showed interest, he didn’t really want to do that. As his iPod shuffled and started playing a song, he realized Lisa would be waiting for him in his flat. Today, they had agreed to sit down as civilized people and discuss, not argue. There were so many things to thrash out, about their property, their two daughters, who would have possession, what visiting rights to give. So many things. Ten years of marriage burdened you endlessly.

At his work today, meetings, attending clients and phone calls, replying email queries, and supervising his juniors had kept him extremely busy. Being a senior accountant wasn’t easy. But he’d enjoyed it, especially today. Ten hours had just flown by, and not for a single moment, he’d thought of his worries of having to encounter Lisa.

It wasn’t easy facing her. Never will be. He’d given her so much love during ten years of their marriage. Many nights, he’d stayed awake taking care of their wailing young daughters, so that Lisa could sleep, report to work next day. He had work too, but he’d sacrificed because he loved Lisa. Adored her. Just imagine the hurt you’d get after all that when your wife said she didn’t love you, that she was having an affair with another man. Ray was a strong man, an ambitious man, but after that revelation, he’d cried like a baby. He’d even pleaded, countless times, for Lisa to end the affair. He’d forgive her. They should work it out, start to love each other, even if it’s just for the sake of their daughters. But Lisa wouldn’t. She’d said it wasn’t Ray’s fault that she’d fallen for this man. Little did that comfort him.

Now, after months of torture, Ray could fall in love, banish all the hurtful memories. He would be rejuvenated. Ray liked nothing better than cuddling the lady he loved all night long.

He forced himself to look up. Sweat was now clearly visible in his brows and temples.

The girl was looking at him.

He was taken back. She must be interested in me then, thought Ray. He smiled, but the girl had looked away. She was instead running her slender fingers through her wispy, shoulder length hair, adjusting it sideways, then playing them with both her hands. Ray had to speak. He had to switch off his iPod before that.

He took the machine out of his pocket and realized the girl too was listening something from her MP3 player. Her ears contained headphones. Even if Ray tried to speak, she wouldn’t hear. Oh Dear!

Ray had always enjoyed iPod. He’d thought it was a wonderful invention. This was his second one. He’d loved the first one so much that he’d used it endlessly, while traveling back and forth from work, during lunchtime, whenever he was free. The battery though had died and he had to purchase a new one.

But now, he was starting to hate the MP3 player. These modern machines made people individualistic, took away your social skills. Not that Ray had any. He kept only few friends. He liked staying home, reading books and keeping himself up to date with news and current affairs. Lisa was his second girlfriend and his only true love. He didn’t have a habit of speaking to strangers in public. But that had to change, or forever, he’d have to live with Lisa’s hurt.

Ray was in a dilemma now. Should he shut his iPod, take out his headphone, and appear as if he’s ready to talk to her? Or maybe he should try to make more eye contacts first, smile when she sees him? His heart was beginning to thump. This was an alien activity for him. He felt like a teenage boy. Only his attire, a black suit he was donning, reminded him that he was returning from work.

He kept his headphone, fearing he’d look too obvious. The girl had only smiled at him, nothing much.

She was looking inside her bag now. Ray looked at her and noticed the landscape from the window behind her. They were travelling across a large farm. The land was barren. Farming season was over. In a month’s time, the field would have new visitor – snow. Ray hated spending winter alone. He doubted he could survive.

The girl started checking her mobile phone. She pressed couple of buttons, appeared to be reading some message, then put the phone back into her bag. After that, she looked straight, not at Ray though, but at the window behind him. This was a small train, only three carriages. The girl was barely two feet away.

What could he do now? She was sending mix signals. It had been five minutes since she’d last looked at Ray. Maybe she wasn’t interested. Unlike Ray, maybe she was returning home to a wonderful boyfriend. Maybe she loved him, didn’t want to be unfaithful to him. But unless Ray conversed with the girl, he wouldn’t find out.

Ten minutes isn’t a lot of time. You can’t keep on thinking, hoping something will happen and you won’t run out of time. The speeding train started to slow down. The landscape wasn’t passing by as fast as before. Ray knew his stop had arrived. He picked up his jacket lying on his lap.

The girl saw this, she must have thought Ray was alighting because she looked at Ray suddenly, as if alarmed. She kept on looking despite Ray not returning her stare. But Ray hadn’t noticed her. He was busy putting on his jacket. He picked up his bag and reluctantly got up, hoping the girl would get off with him also. But she was glued to her seat.

When Ray was on his two feet, his six feet figure towering over the girl, he looked down and saw the girl looking up at him. She wasn’t smiling, why should she. In fact, Ray noticed a hint of disappointment on her face. This was his moment. He had to speak to her.

But the train had already opened its doors. There was a person behind him who was also alighting, waiting for Ray to move. He looked behind, looked down again, but saw the girl had looked away. He started walking towards the exit.

As he left the station and started walking home, he realized the girl was indeed interested in him. Maybe if he’d said Hi! she’d have answered back. Anyone could lip-read that. But what had stopped him?

Despite the disappointment, Ray was happy. After more than a decade, he’d seen and liked a girl today. He’d even tired to flirt with her. It was a steep learning curve for Ray, for him to come out of his shell and learn to chat up girls. He knew that. But he made a start today. He could only improve.

And who knew, maybe he could meet the same girl again.