Two pints of Lager and a packet of Crisp

“It’s like this park is me enemy,” Kevin said. “Freakin’ crazy the park is. It’s haunted. I’m tell yer.”

“What happened?”

“The third time it’s happened.” He looked out of the window, stared at the grey sky, the rain pissing down. “What a day. Can’t even see the heavens.”

“What happened in the park?”

Kevin turned away from the window, munched crisp.

“Them Hollies. Every time they rustle when I'm under. The branches fall off, the leaves twirl, the bark looks angry. It becomes dark.”

“And?”

“What yer do mean, and? It’s scary. Them leaves are waxy, its got spiny edges. Have yer seen them?”

“No.”

“See..see what I mean. Yer wouldn’t understand me now, would yer?”

“But what’s the problem?”

“Yesterday, a berry hit me on me head. Knocked me cold. I was lying down for hours before a gypsy got me.”

“Tell me about the gypsy?”

“Never met him before. Tatty clothes. Scruffy. He shook me, gave me water to drink. Me head’s a whorl after that, round and rickety the park was.”

“Then?”

“More leaves fell. More berries fell. I just ran off after that. Freakin’ scary. The gypsy shouted stop. Never looked back. Bolted out of the park.”

“Oh, finish that pint now. I’ll buy you another one.”

“Cheers. I need it.”

“What did you do after that?”

“Went me home and lied down, until me wife came back.”

The pint glass emptied. I ordered two more.

“Fancy going to the park yourself now?”

“You haven’t told me which park it was.”

“What’s wrong with yer? I told yer first. The heath. Over the vale.”

“Oh. No you hadn’t.”

“So, me wife wrote a letter today to the council. We want them trees knocked down.”

“Why? I don’t think the council will do that.”

“Yer want more people dead then?”

“Nothing like that has happened before.”

“It will now.”

A burly man approached the bar. “What have to been telling the gentleman here, eh?”

“What yer mean?” Kevin turned away from him, again staring at the window. He grabbed his pint and moved towards the window. His footsteps led him to an empty seat.

“I hope you got a good story for two pints you bought him,” the burly man said.